The word intention is defined in the dictionary as: a thing intended; an aim, a plan.
This is my testament to the reality that we do indeed have power over our own lives and how our intentions within this 3D reality shape and mould our very existence.
2016, to say the least, was an interesting year for me. I was in a relationship, had a good job and a ‘social circle’ which included friends and associates. At the back end of 2015, I had just won a bodybuilding competition and had recently decided to turn vegetarian. My life was good! I had the BMW with the red leather interior, the Roly on the wrist, Jordan’s on my feet, fresh trim weekly (major key!) I was travelling a minimum twice a year, money was in the ISA, I was in good health, and spiritually, I was connected.
Well so I thought…
At that time I was a sound board for a lot of people, constantly giving advice: spiritual, nutritional and physical. If you had a problem in your life, I was more than happy to spend hours giving all of my energy, counselling. If you know me then you know that’s facts. My mums a counsellor, I’ve been through a lot. That role was a natural role for me to play and I happily departed my wisdom and experiences for anybody who needed it. The only problem was, I wasn’t wholeheartedly applying that same wisdom to my own life.
See from about the end of 2012, after the breakup of a relationship, I had developed a very selfish attitude, which in retrospect was based on hurt emotions. You know when a relationship is over and you’re like ‘f’k this I’m gonna do me! I’m going to do whatever makes me happy regardless’. Now that’s fine when you’re single and unattached, but I had taken this same attitude into a relationship, which as time would tell would lead to disaster. Reason being, in order to maintain a relationship and my whole ‘I’ll do whatever makes me happy’ attitude, it meant I had to LIE!
I had to lie not only to myself but also to the person I was with. I had to convince myself that the lying was justified. Due to the fact that we’re living in an environment that salutes narcissism, the promotion of disrespect towards women, a hyper sexualised culture that feeds into our base instincts, our animalistic nature, my mindset was actually supported by those that I confided in and by society in general.
So here I was outwardly giving advice, offering support, helping, aiding, telling people to follow their truth but lying to myself by being less than the man I knew I could be. In my mind I wanted to keep this act up, this act of being something other than what I was. This act of underachievement. This act of being scared to fulfil my full potential. Marianne Williamson said ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.’ I was afraid to allow my light to fully shine so by helping others it meant I could avoid myself. I would entertain negative energy because I knew that in order to fulfil what the most high had in store for me, it would mean I’d have to let go of people, places and things. It would mean cleaning up my act and getting my shit together. Looking at the man in the mirror and being honest with myself.
Deep inside I knew I wanted to do this but in the words of Kevin Hart ‘I wasn’t ready!’ The universes reply ‘ready or not, HERE I COME!’
One morning I woke up and it was like a wave of sadness and unhappiness just took over me. I didn’t want to get out of bed or do anything. I hoped this would be a temporary feeling but it wasn’t. Day after day after day this feeling would stay with me. I felt completely lost and isolated. I felt like I was looking at myself from a third person perspective. I didn’t feel connected to my soul. People started noticing and saying to me, ‘you look different, you ok, what’s wrong’ and all I could reply is ‘I don’t know, I feet lost but I’ll be ok’. I had been through depression when I was a teenager and I worried that I was going through it again. I was living in a house in an area I totally hated so finding comfort within my own four walls was impossible! So with all of this going on I decided to call Mum! My mum always has gems for me and she told me exactly what I needed to hear. She basically said that regardless of whether you are doing anything in life, be it positive or negative, there is an energy which will support and feed off of what you are doing, and that’s what I had found. At the points whereby I was involved in negative, self-harming behaviour, there would always be a ‘coincidence’ a ‘window of opportunity’ that would allow that ‘action’ to take place.
‘If you knew better, you would do better!’ ‘With knowledge comes responsibility.’
After that conversation I knew I had to change. I broke away from my relationship, associates and friends in order to get my mind right. I decided that I would never lie again to myself or to a person I love. I would no longer chase after people or involve myself with negative people or negative conversations. I cut ties with a lot of people. My phone stopped ringing, I stopped going out, and I was alone. But you know what, I was happy. I was happy because I recognised the strength and courage I had shown to make the decisions I had made. I was happy because I realised I was now fearless. I was now True. I had given myself permission to start anew and forgive myself for the past.
So with 2016 just about wrapping up, I was single, with no social circle and pretty much keeping myself to myself, but feeling motivated for the New Year.
January 2017. One of the first things I did at the start of the new year was to go to Selfridges and purchase a pair of £500 Giuseppe Zenotti’s. I had never paid that amount of money for a pair of shoes in my life. I posted them up on Instagram: #2017isMyYear.
The year of manifestation.
I put out the INTENTION into the world that this year is going to be a great year for me, not based upon arrogance, lies, flossing, none of that. Based upon the fact that I was going to live my truth and be unafraid.
February 2017 I spoke to my friend Zim who I hadn’t spoken to in a few years for various reasons. We reconnect like we’d just seen each other the week before. He tells me he’s in Sweden. I book a flight the same day and fly over to see him the following week. We both share a birthday in March, so whilst out in Sweden he asks what I’m doing for my birthday as he’s going to Miami and has got the hotel booked for free! Say no more. I come back to England and book my ticket to Miami.
March 2017 I fly out to Miami and celebrate our Birthday’s over spring break.
Myself and Jasmine had been friends for a while. When I came back to England we started to get more serious. She tells me she needs a holiday. We fly out to Cape Verde in April. We have an amazing holiday and whilst there, Jasmine expressed her wish to set up a blog and so, JourneyWithJasmine is born. We also briefly speak about the idea of moving in together but also the idea of going on another holiday!
July 2017 we fly off to Thailand for an amazing 16 day holiday, one week in Phuket and the rest of the time in Koh Samui.
Whilst out in Thailand my best friend has a son and he tells me he’s named him after me, Jéan-Claude. Naturally I think he’s lying, but no he actually named him Jéan-Claude! So the day after touching down from Thailand, I finally get to hold little Jèan-Claude, the most humbling experience I’ve ever had in my life.
This is August 2017. Jasmine’s work contract had just ended and so she was looking for work. She was looking for a job within a specific salary range, which in my eyes was below her potential, so I basically told her to aim higher! Within two weeks of our return from Thailand, Jasmine got a job paying more than she had previously been looking for. This increase in her salary meant that us moving in together was even more possible.
October 2017: myself and Jasmine move into a brand new, 2 bedroom, top floor apartment overlooking the London skyline!
This has to be the most amazing year I’ve ever had #realtalk and I know for a fact it has been this way because of the Power of Intention. The Intent and courage to sever ties with things that no longer served me. The Intent to be fearless and grasp my fullest potential. The Intent to manifest my desires as I choose on my terms living in Truth, Gratitude, Humbleness and connecting my Soul with Source.
Set your Intention with a clean heart and watch how the Universe aligns…